Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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