remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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