no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
