New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Randomize
