How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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