What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize