need another drink. this is the easiest way
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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