shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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