Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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