It's Friday. Sex?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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