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I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Randomize
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