i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
