Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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