Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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