My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize