The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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