There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
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We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
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Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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