sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i used baking grease as lip gloss
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her