I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
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I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
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My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished