The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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