I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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