I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize