perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
