Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize