you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize