What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize
