i don't plan on having that self control this summer
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
did i just pee glitter
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
