You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
