Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
