It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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