Non-Jews are for practice
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
