he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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