I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
ttyl tear gas
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
