when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not cheating when I paid for it
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize