yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
