Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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