we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
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Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
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Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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