Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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