she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
