he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize