youre lurking in front of me
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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