Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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