wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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