I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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