I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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