hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident