so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.