he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!