Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.