Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize