Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
They are going to name an STD after you.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize