I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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