what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
the day after is always just damage control
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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