Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.