party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
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the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
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Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.