WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it