Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
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she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
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I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house